dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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