She's JV to your varsity
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
