dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
only you would photoshop your dick
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
