I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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