your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize