just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Randomize
