is your mom at the bar?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
