i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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