this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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