I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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