The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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