I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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