Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
