You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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