This beer is not sobering me up at all
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
