"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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