so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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