He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
