My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
