They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
