Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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