she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize