Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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