I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
