I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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