Dual....:-)
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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