just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
