Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
