I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize