she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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