the new term for farting is butt boxing.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dude i'm inner monologue high
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
