Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
