what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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