When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
