she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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