I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
