Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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