k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
