Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize