Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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