Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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