NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I'm really busy with my period
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
