dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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