shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
