i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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