I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
