Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
