he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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