I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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