You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize