so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
