So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
