Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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