ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
