My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
