and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
