Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize