I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
