I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
