what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
