I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
