Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
