singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
