i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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