You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
