When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
