So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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