Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
