This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
