I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
