chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
