well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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