doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
