youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
