so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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