we're chasing vodka with high fives
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
