he wants to bone in the snuggie
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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