Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
