I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
